Peter on Eggnog

"the dog* goes nuts over eggnog. like off the fuckin' walls. eggnog is like crack cocaine for dogs."

*peter's dog, lucy.

Peter on Success

"my life just started at this point.*"

*referring to the point he was quoted (about 2 minutes into) a nintendo forum video show**
**http://gonintendo.com/?p=64860

Peter on Lesbians

"let's all face it: the women you wish were lesbians aren't."

Peter on Women, Part 2

"i'm not saying i grasp, you know, a woman's every desire, but i have some clue as what NOT to do."

Peter on the Cosmic Dildo

"the cosmic dildo can also bring joy!"

Peter on Winning a Heart, Part 2

"see, the thought was there, and there was food. i'm 400 lbs, there's food. that's how you win me."

Peter on Winning a Heart

"i'm a firm believer: you wanna win my heart? twenty bucks or dinner. that's it. twenty bucks or something to eat, ok?"

Peter on Dale T's Social Life, Part 2

"in all reality - especially if you're dale T in dale T's reality... there's nothing to be happy about. the man, all of a sudden, he's on cloud 9, he's dancin' around, he's humming - HUM HMM HMM MMM HMMM HUM HM HMUMM - he's dancin' and singin' and doing stupid fuckin' shit i ain't seen the man do a day in his life. i don't know where this new, um, midlife crisis came from, but it needs to end."

Peter on Video Game Etiquette, Part 2

"i just took my pain pills and i'm ready to race!*"

*spoken to a friend via instant messenger while waiting for him to come back to play mario kart ds.

Peter on How to Read Poetry

"let me get you back on the path of righteousness here by saying this is all about me and not the poem in question.*"

*spoken while commenting on dante's 'inferno'

Peter on Passion

"i thanked her for understanding my passion... then she died.*"

*spoken in a frank moment several days after his mother died

Peter on Conferences

"the only conference you need is the one at my bedside"

Peter on Mario Kart and Jesus

"mario kart and jesus. dude, what more is there?"

Peter on Homosexuality

"i embrace the 'love that dare not speak its name.' not to the point of taking cock in the ass or mouth, but to the point of enjoying the exploits of said love... perhaps."