Peter on The King

"i'd be happy just to meet the king, much less get a kinect from him... but don't get me wrong; he better show up with a kinect and a whopper to boot."

Peter on Classic Lines

"'those aren't pillows!'* is one of the best lines in human history!"

*from "plains, trains and automobiles"

Peter on Dinner Rolls

"my dinner rolls are cowards. i just took them out and they are already cooling and have yet to actually melt the butter. what do you expect from french rolls?"

Peter on God

"i'm really only looking for someone who can pull a few cosmic strings for me; that's pretty much all i'm looking for in a god."

Peter on Cell Phones

"when you don't like people and they clearly don't like you, not having a cell phone really seems to work out for the best."

Peter on Love

"romance is the easy part, it's reality that gets in the way."

Peter on Disagreements

"you'll probably disagree and give me shit, but just know that at the end of the day, you are wrong."

Peter on Hogan's Balls After Realizing That They Were Actually Concealed

"see, i loved the "not knowing" part. i mean, with jimmy hart sitting there oblivious to the hulkster's shriveled sack falling out was an instant classic. it's like knowing how a trick is done while at the magic show; it just takes all the joy out of it. now, on the flip side, if jimmy started flashing the shit out of people, that would be a scandal."

Peter on Playing Call of Duty on the Wii Rather Than the Xbox360

"it's like getting bologna and cheese when you ordered steak and taters."

Peter on Call of Duty for the Wii

"i don't understand why anyone would buy it on the wii anyway... it would be like eating steak with a plastic fork and a dixie cup."