Peter on The Olympics

"it's funny that there are so many olympians from NY state... of course, there ain't much else to do here except risk your life and hope for the best."

Peter on Hope, Part 3

"now if only i could find a woman with big tits to believe and say the same thing...*"

*comment by peter after a friend said, "you're a bastard and i love it."

Peter on Independence, Part 2

"when you find yourself laying in a pool of your own blood and piss, guess what? independence day is over, and will smith ain't coming to the rescue! you have to face facts: you're old and worthless! time to die."

Peter on Emotions, Part 2

"i'm tearing up!" - gram
"you ain't the only one, gram. i've been holding back a sob or two myself." - peter

Peter on Scalloped Potatoes

"well, it was really soupy!" - gram
"but now it's really burnt and hard, gram!" - peter*

*you don't cook scalloped potatoes on 450 for 5 hours. you just don't.

Peter on The Grand Scheme

"my grand scheme is to move the fuck outta new york! i hate this fuckin' idiotic state!"

Peter on Life, Part 15

"life isn't like a box of chocolates. life is like a bunch of assholes who feel the need to speak."

Peter on Emotions

"i don't get lonely, i get annoyed."

Peter on Pickup Trucks

"i'd rather* stick batteries up my anus instead."

*rather than drive a pickup truck. he continued: "i say that, because A) dale t (peter's father) just bought a pick up truck and i wish he'd stick batteries up his anus, and B) john was standing next to the Vaseline.

Peter on Hope, Part 2

"i got jack shit... actually, i didn't even get that much."

Peter on Destiny

"i'm not a real man, i'm a prosser."

Peter on Clothing

"when you're topping about 400, the term “one size fits all“ doesn't really apply any more!"

Peter on Wellbeing

"i feel like crap, but ironically, look like crap, too... so i guess it all evens out sideways somehow."

Peter on Life, Part 14

"well, life would be worth living then!"*

*...i went to the doctors and he asked me "if life was worth living," and i said, "i guess so why?" he then tells that i should get a scooter, so say to him, "well life would be worth living then!" i don't think he got that i was joking.

Peter on Twitter

"why are there word limits in 2009?"

Peter on Life Without the Internet

"being without the internet feels like dying and finding out that god is cap'in lou wit' rubber bands on his face/neck/breast/chest and head."

Peter on Being

"i want to be in a place where i can see and i can shower and i can shit!"

Peter on Motivation, Part 3

"if you live in upstate NY, you've got motivation for nothing."

Peter on Nothing

"i have nothing. i want more of it."

Peter on Dale T, Part 11

"at least your father might have a few interesting stories to tell. mine is just a worthless piece of fuck."