Peter on God's Feelings

"on palm sunday some old biddy at church took some palms, announcing she was going to take them home to her family. well, gram got all worked up and bitched about it to me, 'they were not blessed by the priest, peeder!' she was worried that god was going to smite the woman. i just looked at her and said,

'i think god feels pretty much the same way i do about it gram.'"

Peter on Life, Part 11

"i feel like mario. i risk my life, beat the whole the damn level, and the bitch ain't home.*"

*peter, after positing that the phrase "sorry mario, the princess is in another castle" is a metaphor for reality.

Peter on Bitching, Part 3

"there's always bitching to be had!"

Peter on Bitching, Part 2

"expect it! expect the bitches! expect the bitches to commence! ok? expect it!"

Peter on Bitching

"that's what i do, that's how i am. i bitch about everything. i bitch about God, i bitch about this, i bitch about that. my goal in life is to bitch. it's all i need, all i want. that's my lover of choice - other than food and video games and, you know, batteries up the anus..."

Peter on Complaining

"i can't complain, but i want to complain."

Peter on Respect

"i'm 30 god damn years old*; i don't have to respect a damn thing!"

*several years ago

Peter on His Father's Fornication

"do what ever you want, just don’t do it at the house!*”

*said to his father mere months before the house was taken over by the new girlfriend

Peter on Video Game Etiquette, Part 2

"i just took my pain pills and i'm ready to race!*"

*spoken to a friend via instant messenger while waiting for him to come back to play mario kart ds.

Peter on Teabagging

"i'm delighted by teabagging... not on myself, just over all."

Peter on Anger

"i need my pissed-off-ness to go forth."