Peter on Marriage, Part 2

"i mean, even i can't stand being with me. i have nothing to offer even for myself, so why would i expect some dumb woman to feel sorry for me and want some of what i ain't got?"

Peter on Anal Probes

"whenever things in life go wrong (or just not right) the term 'anal probe' comes to mind. think of it as a conditioned response. how it would feel to get his nuts run over by a dump truck? anal probe. what's it like to be cast out homeless by your own kith and kin? anal probe. so when it comes to something of bullshit taking place it's just basic reality that the idea of an anal probe rears its ugly head."

Peter on Timezones, Part 3

" you're* the time zone whore! you are the one that destroyed the love of time for me."

*peter's friend matt

Peter on Success

"my life just started at this point.*"

*referring to the point he was quoted (about 2 minutes into) a nintendo forum video show**
**http://gonintendo.com/?p=64860

Peter on Lesbians

"let's all face it: the women you wish were lesbians aren't."

Peter on Tattoos

"tattooed babes are just... no! i’m sorry, i can’t stand tattoos. well, ok. maybe a small one, but i can't take the girls that get the sistine chapel on their backs, i really can't."

Peter on Looks

"when you find yourself hating the way you look, guess what? probably other people do as well so take the hint, and cover the fuck up!"

Peter on P0rn, Part 3

"internet p0rn is a godsend!"

Peter on P0rn, Part 2

"i’m not into that romantic p0rn. you know, that shit for couples? sure, if i were part of a couple and she wanted to watch it with me, that’s different. but when you’re pleasing for one, you don’t need to have all the frilly shit!"

Peter on Algore

"it's the only thing algore did right! i mean, where would life be with out p0rn?*"

*spoken after algore claimed to invent the internet**
**"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet ." - Algore, during an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN on March 9, 1999.