Peter on The N Word

"get the fuck over it, cowboy the fuck up, and grow a set of man slacks, ok?"

Peter on Attention

"if all you're doing is listening to this,* you're hurting for something. you're looking for something and you ain't gonna find it!"

*a particularly lengthy and pointlessly meandering bitch clip made by peter

Peter on Dale T, Part 5

"dale T. is a big ass baby, so something as simple as getting a shot could very well set him over the deep end of reality, leave him plummeting out of control, spiraling into a deep void that is, in reality, his life, and causing him to lose his bladder and mind."

Peter on Tattoos

"tattooed babes are just... no! i’m sorry, i can’t stand tattoos. well, ok. maybe a small one, but i can't take the girls that get the sistine chapel on their backs, i really can't."

Peter on Lite Beer

"i don't get lite beer. either drink real beer, or don't, but don't tease my ass with half-assed beer. i'm sorry, lite beer is like decaf coffee and diet soda: worthless shit that isn't needed within reality."