Peter on Dale T, Part 11

"at least your father might have a few interesting stories to tell. mine is just a worthless piece of fuck."

Peter on NASCAR, Part 2

"there are only a select group of people who would be watching it at the time it's taking place. they would be your hicks, your low-lives, your country jerk offs, and my step mom. cater to them, not me! the day i watch nASScar is the day i put a shoot gun in my mouth and end it all. you have to be a pretty worthless, depressed person to enjoy watching hicks with pepsi logos on their cars drive in circles all afternoon."

Peter on Life, Part 13

"my days are becoming more and more worthless as my life trucks on."

Peter on School, Part 3

"mr. prosser didn't address shit, ever*. he's got no spine at all. worthless as a father, bare minimum worthless as a human being!"

*peter, still commentating on getting notes home from school addressed to his father.

Peter on Work

"i can't work because God won't let me."

Peter on Dale T, Part 2

"i'm just trying to figure out the idea. i'm just trying to figure out what it is about dale T that she feels she needs to have in her life. ok? she's just looking for a cheap date? you know, maybe someone to rachet up some shit around her house? i don't know. i mean, if she's lookin' for a handy man that's about the only thing that dale T's got that's a redeeming quality."