Peter on Pickup Trucks

"i'd rather* stick batteries up my anus instead."

*rather than drive a pickup truck. he continued: "i say that, because A) dale t (peter's father) just bought a pick up truck and i wish he'd stick batteries up his anus, and B) john was standing next to the Vaseline.

Peter on Bitching

"that's what i do, that's how i am. i bitch about everything. i bitch about God, i bitch about this, i bitch about that. my goal in life is to bitch. it's all i need, all i want. that's my lover of choice - other than food and video games and, you know, batteries up the anus..."