Peter on UPS

"sometimes you get lucky and shit* ends up on the 'early truck'. well, mine got put on the 'early fuck'."

*your much-desired shipment of joy

Peter on Armageddon, Part 3

"really, i beg God for armageddon everyday, just so that i can finally move out of new york state."

Peter on Motherfucker

"people often get all offended over the word motherfucker. get the fuck over it. motherfucker is like a comma! it has nothing to do with actually fucking someone's mother!"

Peter on The N Word

"get the fuck over it, cowboy the fuck up, and grow a set of man slacks, ok?"

Peter on Understanding

"i tell you* more about my life than you even know about yours."

a friend who accused peter of not being forthcoming with information.

Peter on Trials

"god sends me trials to piss me off."

Peter on Failure, Part 2

"i fail so that others may live."

Peter on Symbolism

"if it's symbolic, nobody cares.*"

*said to a friend who was describing some artwork

Peter on God, Part 3

"i can't tell you that there is a god. but i can tell you there are a whole bunch of sorry excuses for human beings who want there to be a reason for their existence."

Peter on Spelling

"i haven't been to bed yet* so don't go getting cute with the spelling."

*spoken at 9am (after an all-nighter) upon being challenged regarding his spelling of 'rite'. he wrote 'right'.