Peter on M-Rated Games

"it's like going from hamburger to turkey burger... sure, it's good, but not the same. "

*talking about playing M-rated games on wii vs the 360 or ps3.

Peter on God's Feelings

"on palm sunday some old biddy at church took some palms, announcing she was going to take them home to her family. well, gram got all worked up and bitched about it to me, 'they were not blessed by the priest, peeder!' she was worried that god was going to smite the woman. i just looked at her and said,

'i think god feels pretty much the same way i do about it gram.'"

Peter on Country Music, Part 4

"this song* makes me want to put a shotgun to my face just to dull the mood."

*any random country song.

Peter on Error

"the error is yyyoooooooouuuuuuuuu!*"

*microsoft

Peter on Wii Lack

"950 billion wiis sold and i'm the only person left on god's green earth* that hasn't found one yet? that's depressing."

*peter himself

Peter on Disappointment

"i'm just very disappointed. i'm disappointed in you. i'm very disappointed with my life, i'm disappointed in your progress in my life."

Peter on Bob's Game

"the day i pay money for a game called 'bob's game' is the day i stick rabid wolverines into my colon."

Peter on UPS

"sometimes you get lucky and shit* ends up on the 'early truck'. well, mine got put on the 'early fuck'."

*your much-desired shipment of joy

Peter on Armageddon, Part 3

"really, i beg God for armageddon everyday, just so that i can finally move out of new york state."

Peter on Motherfucker

"people often get all offended over the word motherfucker. get the fuck over it. motherfucker is like a comma! it has nothing to do with actually fucking someone's mother!"