Peter on Camping

"no, motherfucker, you're not one with nature, you're one with stupidity!*"

*spoken in general after hearing of someone who was excited to go camping.

Peter on Going Green

"i'm telling you what, the next motherfucker that tell me to go green, is going to go size 13*!"

*peter's shoe size, inserted in the rectum

Peter on Yesterday

"the highlight of yesterday was taking a shit."

Peter on Motivation, Part 3

"if you live in upstate NY, you've got motivation for nothing."

Peter on Nothing

"i have nothing. i want more of it."

Peter on Dale T, Part 11

"at least your father might have a few interesting stories to tell. mine is just a worthless piece of fuck."

Peter on HD

"HD deez nutz! i'm just saying, everything is going high def... why not da nutz?"

Peter on Country Music, Part 5

"country music is a lot like having your mouth open when the dog farts."

Peter on Walking

"i was born with spina bifida and i get nothing, yet michael jackson moonwalks and he gets morphine and demerol and whatnot... i'd be happy just to WALK, much less moon-fuck-walk!"

Peter on Carbon Footprints

"i'm sorry, my carbon footprint is size 13, bitch! if i want to cut that down i'm going to plant a fucking tree."