Peter on Relationships

"relationships? no. i don't need to hear every freakin' day about how bad my life is and how she* wished she never met me... i don't need my mother back."

*whatever random woman might lower herself to become involved with me only to realize she hadn't yet truly suffered in life.

Peter on Pretty in Pink

"dear God, at 300 lbs the term 'pretty in pink' does not apply!!"

Peter on Defecation

"a larger-sized woman does not go 'POTTY,' she 'EXCRETES,' ok?"