Peter on Bioshock Infinite

"I cavity-searched the game. At least I felt like I did!"

Peter on Bioshock Infinite

"I cavity-searched the game. At least I felt like I did."

Peter on the New Tomb Raider

"All that game - all that Tomb Raider - fucking needed was some fuckin' T-Rex's and some dick! And some 'I AM TUROK!' and some little triangles... little gold triangles. That's all it needed."

Peter on Making Money on the Internet

"I'd do anything for a dime! I'd play with my dick for a dime! For 25 followers!"

Peter on the Internet

"I'm not stupid enough to assume I'm always gonna have an internet connection."

Peter on Nintendo

No, Reggie! No! My body is not ready, Reggie!

Peter on The Love of God

"God loves the tranny more than He loves you for being a fucking asshole!"

Peter on Charities

"Where's the Angry Fucking Cripple charity?!?!?"

Peter on The Shaft

"I'm getting shafted every second of every day!"

Peter on Stressful Lifestyles

"You need to tone the fuck down. Everything else needs to be put on hold...either that or you die."

Peter on Matt's Commentary

"I see the lips flappin' but you don't have any clue what you're saying."

Peter on Gram and Inflation

"She wanted me to paint the kitchen for $5 like it was 1935 or something. I said, 'Gram, I'll do it for $50, I'll even cut ya a break; I'll do the whole kitchen for 35 bucks.' She thought that was outlandish. She said, 'EETER YA GONNA PAINT MA KITCHEN? I'LL GIVE YE FIVE DOLLARZ' and I said, 'Gram, Jesus. It's called inflation. It's called inflation, woman. INFLATION. Five dollars ain't going nowhere!'"

Peter on Johnny Carson Again

"Johnny Carson was the equivalent of Jaws; you wanted to see Johnny!"

Peter on Johnny Carson

"Johnny Carson was a fucking miracle!"

Peter on I Have A Dream at 50

The dream, is just that...a dream, it can never be achieved without serious kick in the collective slacks!

When a 400 pound crippled man with a cane gets scoffed at while walking down the chip aisle of the local store or...

When a single mother gets treated like a destroyer of the American Dream because she doesn't have a father in her children's' lives (Like his participation wasn't desired?!)

Like a case of the shits; some things are just out of our control.

The dream will never be realized when someone working two jobs and who still needs food stamps to make ends meet are treated like second class citizens.

'If you don't work, you don't eat' - well, maybe someone should tell that to Congress! A person's content of character is easy to scold when you are looking down from your ivory towers wondering why they feel jilted. It's easy to engage in real 'class warfare' as you sit behind your cameras and microphones calling them 'lazy,' and 'victims' while collecting a very nice paycheck. Showing empathy for your fellow man is not Un-American in fact, it is the most American, most godly thing one can do. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God; Love they neighbor as you would love yourself. Don't do it for your political party, do it because it's right. Do it for Christ, follow His example and simply: Do. What. Is. Right!

Peter on Effective Parenting

"I was frying eggs while standing on a chair at age 2. I knew my parents were worthless and that I'd have to fend for myself even at that tender age."

Peter on This Day in History

"So wait, on this day in history, Woman got the right to vote and it's also National Dog Day? Well, ain't that a bitch!"

Peter on Alternate Universe Dreams

"I just had a dream from an alternate universe! In the dream the mail had just arrived and I open a package to see that I had bought some DVD's. After looking them over I say to someone in the dream, "I already have all these, why did I buy them?" Just then, I looked down at the format: HD-DVD! Those who don't know, back in early 2000's there was a format war between the Sony backed Blu-ray (which own, obviously) and the Microsoft backed HD-DVD. I then see the MS logo, I sarcastically said 'eff this reality!' and I woke up! The movies were all from John Carpenter; one was Ghosts of Mars and the covers were generic lame-ass red-ish color. It was a very sad universe!"

Peter on Touchscreen Technology

"Can anyone remember back in the Stone Age when we had buttons and when we pushed them, they worked?! Now it's all that damn touchscreen crap *TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP* and nothin'!"

Peter on Good Band Names

"I think 'Take Me Out To The John' would be a great name for a band."