Peter on Looks

"when you find yourself hating the way you look, guess what? probably other people do as well so take the hint, and cover the fuck up!"

Peter on Pain

"my back don’t give a damn about nice tidings and wishful thoughts."

Peter on NASCAR

"i hate NASCAR people. i hate em. i hate them. i hate hillybilly, lowbred hicks. i hate country music motherfuckers."

Peter on the Circle of Safety

"my circle of safety extends out to about the roadway. from wherever i'm at to the driveway. you pull into the driveway, you're violating my personal space. that's the type of shit you get the shotgun for."

Peter on Baby Parties, Part 3

"nobody in the fucking free world with more than two active brain cells needs to go to a five-year-old's party. especially if you ain't related. if you ain't related, you don't need to be at the kid's party EVER! you understand me? EVER. NEVER EVER EVER NEVER!"

Peter on Baby Parties

"a five-year-old kid ain't gonna remember you were at the party. if you need to get together and gab, go to the bitches house on a tuesday, a thursday, a wednesday. you don't need a baby party to go to. it's that simple. you do not need to go to the baby's party just to get together and gab."