Peter on NASCAR, Part 2

"there are only a select group of people who would be watching it at the time it's taking place. they would be your hicks, your low-lives, your country jerk offs, and my step mom. cater to them, not me! the day i watch nASScar is the day i put a shoot gun in my mouth and end it all. you have to be a pretty worthless, depressed person to enjoy watching hicks with pepsi logos on their cars drive in circles all afternoon."

Peter on Dale T, Part 10

"dale T has been - as a collective whole - a worthless father, a worthless husband, and as the small bottle of blue pills would suggest, a worthless lover, too."

Peter on Dale T, Part 9

"dale t was a prick, but as long as he's bringing subway sandwiches, he's allowed into the house."

Peter on Not Regretting Regrets

"i probably shouldn't have told the case worker "fuck you" that time, but goddamn it was liberating."

Peter on Gram, Part 4

"it's kinda like that saying 'in one ear and out the other' only in this case it's 'in both ears and right out your ass.'*"

*peter describing how gram doesn't really listen during "conversations."

Peter on Foolishness

"if i put my nuts in a blender and hit puree - i ain't got a reason to wonder why i can't procreate anymore."

Peter on Life, Part 13

"my days are becoming more and more worthless as my life trucks on."

Peter on Gram, Part 3

"there's friendly fire all the time with her.*"

*gram

Peter on Education

"i'll educate these fuckin' bastards and send em fuckin' sideways!*"

*said upon seeing that his local area wanted to raise taxes to help increase funding for education.