Peter on The Olympics, Part 3

"i think that you have to have one nut in the grave to male figure skater."

Peter on Having Kids

"why would i put my nuts in a blender if i don't need to?"

Peter on HD

"HD deez nutz! i'm just saying, everything is going high def... why not da nutz?"

Peter on Hope

"i just hope that the occasional slap to the nuts will be worth it in the end..."

Peter on Foolishness

"if i put my nuts in a blender and hit puree - i ain't got a reason to wonder why i can't procreate anymore."

Peter on Eggnog

"the dog* goes nuts over eggnog. like off the fuckin' walls. eggnog is like crack cocaine for dogs."

*peter's dog, lucy.

Peter on Anal Probes

"whenever things in life go wrong (or just not right) the term 'anal probe' comes to mind. think of it as a conditioned response. how it would feel to get his nuts run over by a dump truck? anal probe. what's it like to be cast out homeless by your own kith and kin? anal probe. so when it comes to something of bullshit taking place it's just basic reality that the idea of an anal probe rears its ugly head."

Peter on Dale T's Nuts

"dale T just sits there enjoying his nuts, fidgeting, and every now and then he’ll crack one open and yell out, “hey, woman! look, it’s rotten in side!” he will then proceed to eat it anyway. nut after mixed nut is being cracked open, each one going to his sprightly little lips so that his buckteeth can gnaw away at the nutty goodness inside each half shell. after a while he looks over and says to me, “what? yew wanna nut too, boy?” and with that he belts one over at my head with all his might, hitting me in the face for all he’s worth just like a good father should."