Peter on Life Without the Internet

"being without the internet feels like dying and finding out that god is cap'in lou wit' rubber bands on his face/neck/breast/chest and head."

Peter on Slowness

"dude, if i go any slower, i'll start traveling back in time.*"

*said after a friend suggested taking things slow, like God does.

Peter on Deez Nutz

"anyone can be the god of deez nutz."

Peter on Slain in the Spirit Videos

"it's making me hate religion... all over again"*

*watching youtube videos of people getting "slain in the spirit"

Peter on Armageddon, Part 3

"really, i beg God for armageddon everyday, just so that i can finally move out of new york state."

Peter on Trials

"god sends me trials to piss me off."

Peter on God, Part 3

"i can't tell you that there is a god. but i can tell you there are a whole bunch of sorry excuses for human beings who want there to be a reason for their existence."

Peter on Miracles

"i would give my left nut for a miracle."

Peter on Work

"i can't work because God won't let me."

Peter on God, Part 2

"i said it* very tenderly, very concisely. very specifically, in a very concise way. as in: in as few words as possible. God, not being the person of God, but God as in the overarching, the, ugh, fornication of filth that is over top of me, that is ruling over me."

*it being the cursing of God that Peter engaged in

Peter on God

"i don't know what i did to piss God off... other than say "fuck you" to Him the other day, but that's beside the case."

Peter on Madden, Part 2

"the fact that madden has to try to pronounce all these black football player's names is proof enough for me that God does, in fact, love us."

Peter on Perspective

"my life is nothing more than a cosmic joke for God and satan to sit around - all shit-faced like the King from burger king - trying to find new ways to jag my ass. i understand my role in their earthly skits and amusements."