Peter on The N Word

"get the fuck over it, cowboy the fuck up, and grow a set of man slacks, ok?"

Peter on Understanding

"i tell you* more about my life than you even know about yours."

a friend who accused peter of not being forthcoming with information.

Peter on Trials

"god sends me trials to piss me off."

Peter on Failure, Part 2

"i fail so that others may live."

Peter on Symbolism

"if it's symbolic, nobody cares.*"

*said to a friend who was describing some artwork

Peter on God, Part 3

"i can't tell you that there is a god. but i can tell you there are a whole bunch of sorry excuses for human beings who want there to be a reason for their existence."

Peter on Spelling

"i haven't been to bed yet* so don't go getting cute with the spelling."

*spoken at 9am (after an all-nighter) upon being challenged regarding his spelling of 'rite'. he wrote 'right'.

Peter on Miracles

"i would give my left nut for a miracle."

Peter on Life, Part 12

"i've outlived my uselessness."

Peter on Sympathy and Canes

"you see someone with a cane, there's sympathy. you see a 400 lb man wandering around the chip aisle with a cane, there's no sympathy."